60 seconds feels very different depending on what is happening. 60 seconds at a stoplight when you are in a hurry feels like eternity, whereas 60 seconds on your favorite roller coaster literally flies by faster than imagined. How about 60 seconds when you are in the middle of an anxiety attack or waiting to hear news from the doctor?
Learning to take intentional pauses can help exercise the mental muscle needed to stay focused, calm and avoid poor impulsive decisions. We all get caught up in the stress, business or routine of life without stopping to check in on ourselves. Intentional pauses help us to increase awareness and give us the space to use our awareness to help determine choices and actions that are healthy and benefit our relationships. Intentional pauses help healthy choices happen instead of default behaviors, assumptions or irrational thoughts. The key to intentional pauses is to practice them throughout the day, so that you can implement them when you really need to use them. Here are some suggestions for intentional pauses:
- Ask yourself some questions like “what was I just feeling/thinking?”
- Focus on breathing for 10 seconds
- Remind yourself of your values and the “why” of what you are doing
- Ask yourself if you are being impulsive or taking something personally
- Notice general terms and try to understand their meaning or definition such as ‘what do I mean by courage?”
- Dr. Gray has an excellent video on ‘Taking the Pause” https://www.spanishrivercounseling.com/video-resources-blogs/2020/4/27/therapeutic-breathing-techniques-sg7mw-gc9ny-jnmgd
The great thing with practicing intentional pauses is that you will notice your own thoughts and feel more in control of the choices you make in order to have better responses. Plus, you begin to model out healthy habits for those around you. So next time you are at a red light, ask yourself “what am I thinking/feeling right now?” You can do this!
